The debate isn't about civility its about the proportionate actions taken toward an individual who was being uncivil.
If a big man rushes me after demonstrating a willingness to injure me, and if I'm armed, then I'm going to do the civil thing of adding holes to the ones my attacker was born with. If I'm not armed then more than likely I'll suffer injuries and perhaps even death. I do not intend to make myself someone else's sacrificial lamb. If someone wants to injure or hurt me then they'll have to take whatever I can do in defense. If they don't want to accept my defense then the answer is simple. DON'T try and attack me. The right to LIVE is a right I own and anyone who attempts to take it away from me should be prepared to pay a comparable price themself.
At the end of the day that is the thing to learn. If you attack someone you're placing YOURSELF at risk and YOU are responsible for the outcome.